My Vocation Story: Part 1 (Early Life-Grad School)

I was asked some time ago, by someone important, to write about something other than baseball and movies.  Someone else had told me, a couple of years ago, that I should write "the inside scoop" on seminary.  Well, I'm not going to go that far, especially since they say there are two things no one should know how they're made: sausages and priests, but I did figure that I could marry those two suggestions.  I figured I'd start what I hope to be a series of blogs about vocations and seminary, in case anyone wants to know more about that.  After all, one of the most frequent questions is: why would someone want to be a priest?

This first post is intended to be a glimpse at my process of getting to the seminary.  Some people may think all priests (or seminarians) have basically the same story.  In fact, as many seminarians and priests as there are, there are that many different stories.  I will say you can mostly group them into three camps: those who knew all their life and entered right out of high school, those who had an idea but still decided to try "real college" before seminary, and then there's the "late vocations," sometimes also called "second vocations."  These are the old, sometimes wise ones.  Sacred Heart Seminary and School of Theology, where I currently take classes in Milwaukee, specializes in these late vocations.

Ostensibly I fall into the third category, though not perfectly.  Despite what those at St. Francis might say, I'm on the lower end of the "late vocations," since most are in their 40s or 50s.  So for that group I'm young, though for many seminarians I'm old.  As usual, I don't fit in.

This is kind of getting besides the point.  How did I get to the seminary?  Why did I go to the seminary?  Good questions.

Let me begin by saying, I never, until very recently, thought about being a priest.  Growing up, I never thought beyond baseball.  I still rarely do.  I think the earliest I ever declare a future job was when I was about 5 years old I told my mom at Daily Mass that I wanted to be a doctor "so I could help people."  I don't know what that was about.  I remember saying it, but I don't remember thinking it.  I certainly moved away from the doctor thing quickly, since the sight, or even thought, of blood and other bodily fluids makes me queasy.  My sister got all of those genes. 

But, there's another detail in there that may be important: Daily Mass.  My mom took me every day until I started school.  So going to Church was normal for me.  It also led to a kind of funny side note, though seminarian me kind of cringes when I tell this story.  I had my first Communion at a very early age.  You see, I grew up in Houston, in the 80s.  They were (very unfortunately) very loose about things back then.  There was no tabernacle in the church (sigh) so after Mass the "extra" consecrated hosts were brought into the sacristy.  Did I mention my mom was a sacristan?  In any case, one day I found myself, hungry, in the sacristy.  I was tall enough to reach the counter, so I'm guessing I was around 5 (there's that age again).  I was hungry, I saw food, so I started eating.  After consuming a couple, my mom walked in, saw what was happening, and quickly made me stop.  The holy side of the story is: I could not wait to receive the Body of Christ.  The unfortunate side of the story is: I was able to do it in the first place.

I digress again.  As I said, I grew up very close to the Church, but in some ways it was so "normal" that I never really thought about it.  I never thought about being a priest, largely because I wanted to be like my dad and have my own family.  So that's how I went through the next twenty years or so: marriage was my only option. 

I eventually realized I would never be a baseball player, and being a manager was a long shot.  I had to think about something else.  I still don't really know how I decided on history, though the best explanation I can give is that I like my AP US History course (which was taught by my baseball coach).  In any case, when it came time to decide on college, I settled on history.  I also thought about theatre, and even auditioned for and received a theatre scholarship to the University of Dallas.  This was THE SCHOOL my mom wanted me to go to.  It's Catholic, and pretty solid at that, and nearly every student spent one semester studying in Rome (I could have met St. JPII).  The history program was pretty good, I had the theatre scholarship, and there was a chance I could walk-on the Division II baseball team.  It seems like the perfect fit!  But yet, on the last day I could choose, I went with Texas A&M.  I don't really have a good reason why, except that at the time I was working at Texas Roadhouse in College Station, with a bunch of Aggies, and I got swept up in the Spirit of Aggieland.  It can do that to you.

I am happy to say that, unlike the majority of "kids these days," I continued to go to Mass every Sunday.  It helped that St. Mary's is a pretty awesome place.  That being said, I do have to admit that many times it was out of obligation, or maybe guilt, more than "want to."  What I'm trying to say is that I was not exactly the best Catholic.  I started dating a girl in Houston, and it got pretty serious.  If you know me well, you know that it was serious enough that we got engaged.  For my 3.5 years at A&M, I essentially went home to Houston every other weekend, so I never really got into the St. Mary's scene.  Shortly before I graduated, we broke up, and I prepared to move on to grad school (and of course it was that easy to move on). 

This meant a move all the way to the University of North Texas in Denton.  During my two years there, I had a bit of a conversion experience.  By that I mean, something happened that made me take my faith more seriously, and Sunday Mass became less an obligation and more something I wanted to do.  During one of the summers, one of my best friends convinced me to go to Aggie Awakening.  So you see, while I was at A&M, I never even bothered to go, that's how out of the scene I was.  In any case, I went with an open mind.  I'm glad I did, because it remains one of the most important weekends of my life.  It was largely a "right place, right time" retreat for me.  I felt much closer to my faith, and realized I had to take it seriously.

I then moved on to Auburn University, and I actually went out of my way to become more involved in Church (difficult for my extreme introversion).  Even though I was already one of the "old ones," I got involved in the vibrant college student group.  (Another side note: by "vibrant" I mean, from a relatively small group, we have at least three religious sisters, one religious brother, and I believe four seminarians/priests from my time there.)  It was a very good group, with some people I wish I had got to know even better.  I also started to attend Daily Mass fairly frequently, eventually became the sacristan for our Thursday evening Mass, and was part of one of the two Sunday night Mass choirs for five years.  Despite all of this, I never once thought about being a priest.  It was still marriage or nothing.  I did, however, start to think about perhaps becoming a permanent deacon one day (the old "best of both worlds" falsity). 

During my time at Auburn, I was blessed with the chance to travel to Europe for my dissertation research.  I was studying the Mission Control Centers of the United States and European space programs, and needed to travel to each of them for research.  Houston was easy, California was a quick flight, and I also drove to D.C. for the National Archives (a great trip in itself).  The European leg consisted of three main stops.  First, I had to go to Paris to visit the European Space Agency Headquarters and archives.  I had never been that interested in going to Paris, except maybe to see Versailles and Normandy.  Instead, I loved my time there, and did not see either of those (meaning I need to return).  Next was the actual control center in Darmstadt, Germany.  It's a small city south of Frankfurt.  It is definitely not a tourist stop.  The final necessary stop was Florence, the home of the official archives for ESA.  I had not thought much about Florence before, except that I knew there was obviously a lot of history there.  If I fell in love with Paris, I don' t know what to say about Florence.  It is by far my favorite city I have ever visited.  The most meaningful stop for me was in the church of Santa Maria Novella, near the train station (and my apartment).  While I was looking around, completely blown away, I decided to sit down for a little while to take it all in.  At that moment, I felt completely at peace, as never before.  At the time, I took it as consolation of my faith, and an increased desire to serve the Church in some way (as a married man).  Looking back, it was probably my first real pull towards the seminary, but again, I did not see it as such at the time.

Oh by the way, while in Florence I met up with a couple of friends, and we took a side trip to Venice (disappointing, the city, not the company).  Also, while planning my trip, I decided: I'm so close to Rome, I can't NOT go there.  So I tacked on a few days at the end to visit Rome.  To be honest, after Florence I was not that impressed with Rome (but not the Vatican, that was amazing, especially the Sistine Chapel-Last Judgment!).  I need to go back to better appreciate it.

Teaching Parish Assignment

This weekend I was able to spend time in my new weekend assignment.  At St. Francis de Sales Seminary, we have a "Teaching Parish."  This will be our "home away from...seminary" for our four years of Theology.  To keep me in the Diocese of Madison, the powers that be chose for me St. Joseph's in Fort Atkinson.  It's a decently long 75 minutes away.

 Unfortunately it was difficult to get a good picture inside because the outside light streaming in makes it look darker than it was.

 This mosaic was in the "old" church behind the altar.  The "old" church was built in the 1960s and was praised as one of the "most modern" at the time.  So the new church is a great improvement.

The church is going through a bit of a transition with the new pastor (assigned last year).  He is a good man who cares for the Church, his people, and the Truth.  I think we will get along just fine.

I arrived around noon on Saturday.  Mass was at 5:00, with Confessions starting at 4:00.  We got there at 3:00 for a bit of a tour and to prepare for everything.  The new church is only 11 years old, so not so old that it's modern-ugly, but not so new that it's retro-beautiful.  Somewhere in between, and that's fine.  Sunday Masses are at 8:00 and 10:00.  A nice addition from the new pastor: they pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet after each Mass, with each of the five servers taking a set.

The pastor had me introduce myself after each of the Masses this weekend.  I gave a brief 1-2 minute history of myself and why I'm there.  The people all seemed to be excited to see me.  It's amazing how, even in this fairly small corner of the diocese, there were people with connections.  One family had a wife that went to that little school in Austin, and the husband went to University of North Texas.  They had lived in Houston, and asked me what part.  "Spring."  "Get out!  Which church?"  "Christ the Good Shepherd."  "GET OUT!  Our children had all their sacraments there!"  An amazingly small world.

One of the best parts of the weekend was after dinner Saturday, the pastor got a call by a family that needed a visit.  I don't want to go into details here, but it was a real experience to remind me why we are needed.

So this will be my weekend home for the next four years.  There are only two small difficulties.  One: the distance.  Two: the pastor is not a sports fan and has no television.  This means little if any Aggie football for the next four years (I was only able to catch the very end of overtime this Saturday, but at least it was a happy end).  I guess God has to teach me something.

Another Busy Month: August

It's been awhile since I really got to post much here.  What have I been doing?  Glad you asked.

August has been incredibly busy.

July ended with my move out of my summer assignment to my parents' house, temporarily of course.  The first few days of that week consisted of me packing, first for our Seminarian Gathering, then for seminary.  I had been helping to plan our Gathering all summer, so Wednesday was our last day to get ready before it started.  Mostly it was a trip to the store to buy a whole lot of drinks and some food.  We then had to move it from the van to the room where we would be meeting.  And, because I don't think ahead, I was wearing pants and a polo.  And it was about 90 degrees.  That was a fun day.

Our Gathering started on the 4th with a good talk by someone from the Tribunal, followed by a trip to paintball.  It was my first time paintballing, and it was a lot of fun, despite the heat and humidity and the long pants and shirt.  In fact, on our first "mission," I was the last one out, largely because I had no idea what I was doing so I just stayed in the back.  It almost worked.  I only got two bad hits, one on the top of my head, and one on the collarbone.  Overall, it was a good time.

Friday was a day of a few talks, one by our vocation director and one by our bishop, which is always a good time.  We also had a Jeopardy! game made by one of the seminarians focusing on the history of the diocese.  It was a lot of fun, though I was the judge of who raised their hand first so I was the enemy.

Saturday was our pilgrimage.  This year it was focused on Fr. Samuel Mazzuchelli, an Italian priest who founded a number of churches in southwest Wisconsin, Iowa, and Illinois.  He was a true pioneer priest, even drawing the plans for many of the churches.  First we went to St. Augustine in New Diggings.  Built in the 1840s, it was restored recently to look exactly as it had 170 years ago.  We had Mass there, Extraordinary Form, which was fantastic.  They even rang the bell for us.

Next, we headed over to Sinsinawa Mounds, home of the Sinsinawa Dominican Sister who were founded by Fr. Mazzuchelli.  In their heyday, they were the largest order in the United States, numbering nearly 2000!

 Painting of Fr. Mazzuchelli when he entered seminary, around age 17

 After he died, he was found wearing this penitential chain around his waist

The habit Sinsinawa Dominican sisters used to wear

We then trekked over to St. Patrick's Church in Benton, the final resting place of Fr. Mazzuchelli.  Holy Hour there was a treat, even if the A/C wasn't working.

 He had a great devotion to Our Lady, Queen of Sorrows

We finished the pilgrimage with dinner at the house of a major benefactor for the diocese.  His farm includes a nice chapel, Stations of the Cross, various statues, and a huge rosary.  What a great man.

Sunday brought us Mass with the bishop, a fantastic brunch, and then the priest/seminarian soccer game in Sauk City.  The seminarians won, of course, 4-2.

Monday was another big event for us.  We had a golf tournament with some of the priests from the diocese as well as some local benefactors.  This took place at the Janesville Country Club, which is the oldest country club in Wisconsin and something like the fourth oldest in the United States.  My group did not do very well, but we still had fun.

Tuesday was picture day!  Always a favorite day.  We also had an event with major benefactors of the vocation office.  And we finished on Wednesday with a talk on the importance of learning Latin as priests of the Latin Rite.  What a concept!

After a half day of "rest" at home, it was move-in day at the seminary on Thursday.  Busy busy busy, but the people here were great about helping make it feel like home.

 My new home

The seminary used to have a baseball team!  Of course, they also used to have 400 seminarians 

Friday the 12th began orientation.  Like most places, it's that "necessary evil" to learn the ropes.  One among many interesting facts, it was built in 1855, making it the oldest continually operated seminary in the United States.  So that was my next week.  One of the highlights was Monday, the Feast of the Assumption.  We went over to the cathedral to help out at the Open Door Cafe, a fantastic organization that feeds 5000 lunches every year at no cost.  We also got a tour of the cathedral.  The less said the better.

Milwaukee cathedral circa 1940s 

That afternoon, thanks to the feast day, we had our only real block of time free for two weeks (or three for me).  I took that time to see Suicide Squad, because I had to.  My short review: despite some great performances by Margot Robbie, Viola Davis, and especially Will Smith, it was one of the most disappointing movies in awhile.  The editing was horrific, and the villain was a Marvel-like throwaway villain, only more laughable.  I'm going to blame the studio for at least a little bit of that.

Our orientation ended with a trip to a lake house on Saturday.  It was a nice, relaxing time for some of us.  Others went crazy playing volleyball and soccer. 

Sunday morning we were free to attend Mass wherever we wanted.  I decided to head over to St. Stanislaus, where my great (great?) uncle was the pastor in the 1880s/1890s.  This former Polish church is now run by the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest.  It was a Low Mass, and I have to admit to feeling a little emotional thinking that I was in the same space as my ancestor, listening to the same Mass that he would have celebrated.

Then Sunday afternoon we headed to our yearly silent retreat in Illinois.  It was a good retreat, focusing on the Beatitudes.  As always, the most important part of the retreat is the personal time with God.  I was able to finish Cardinal Sarah's book, which was inspiring.

And now I'm back in the seminary.  Classes begin Monday.  I'm ready to start theology!

Finishing May

On Monday I was able to meet with my friend for lunch at the Hobbit Cafe.  Good conversation as always.

Tuesday and Wednesday were my days to finish packing and start getting this moved to the new address.

Thursday I drove down to Brownsville, actually Lyford.  It was a long drive, but not too bad.  On the way I got a text about a tornado near my brother's house in Bryan.  Lots of flooding as well.  Please pray for all those affected by the storms in Texas.  I was able to stay at the house of a friend from seminary, right in the middle of farming country.  It was actually greener than I expected.  It was not too bad. 

On Friday we went to see X-Men: Apocalypse.  It was ok, with some good action scenes, but overall most of the characters were underused.  Perhaps I've been spoiled by Captain America: Civil War.  Then we headed down to McAllen for the ordination at the Basilica Shrine of Our Lady of San Juan del Valle.  The basilica itself was a bit too modern for me.  I was expected more of a Spanish mission feel.  The ordination was beautiful with lots of Spanish.  After the ordination myself and a few other seminarians met for a late dinner (dessert) at a local Italian restaurant.  We got back to the house late for some sleep before I had to drive back on Saturday.

I drove back early on Saturday because we were trying to get the family together one more time before the move.  Unfortunately because of the flooding one family could not make it, but we had a good time regardless.  Sunday was my day of rest.

I set out for Wisconsin on Monday.  The stop overnight was in Springfield, Missouri.  The drive was basically uneventful.  I spent the night at a Route 66 Best Western.  It was ok, though not as unique as the reviews made it sound.  The desk manager recommended I go to lunch at a diner next door, which gives a 10% discount.  The food was alright, and fairly cheap.

Tuesday started with a stop at a local parish for Mass on the feast of the Visitation.  After a quick breakfast, I was on the road to Wisconsin.  The scenery was much better this day heading through the hills of Missouri and the farms of Illinois and Wisconsin.  9 hours later, I arrived at St. Bernard's Catholic Church in Madison.  The pastor and religious education coordinator were kind enough to help me move stuff out of my car up to my room.  Then it was time for dinner.  After a check online, I headed over to a local sandwich joint (Crostini Sandwiches).  Fresh squeezed lemonade, California chicken panini, and a free chocolate chip cookie after I mentioned I just moved in.  It was all good, I will definitely be returning.  I spent the rest of the night moving in my stuff before I got too worn out and called it a night.  Apparently I slept through a strong thunderstorm.

Now, I'm sitting in my new room after the first Mass at the parish (with the windows open, something unthinkable in Houston).  I am looking forward to a good summer getting to know Madison.

A Very Busy Month

May has been and will continue to be quite the busy month for me.  Here is a little look at the place I've been and the things I've done.

Let's start at the very beginning.  (A very good place to start.)  Our last day of class was Thursday, May 5, which ended with a final Mass where the Schola sang the Franz Biebl Ave Maria which we had been preparing since at least Spring Break.  After Mass those of us who were completing Pre Theology were given a certificate of completion. 

Two guys I will miss the most, we survived two years together

The next day was cleaning and move out day.  Instead, I went to see Captain America: Civil War with my good friend from UNT.  My brief review: it's the best movie of the MCU.  That night I was given two tickets to the Mariners/Astros game.  I could not pass up free tickets, especially since they were in the Club Level and I had never been there before.  It was a pretty exciting experience.  Outside of a bases loaded triple in the seventh, Fister pitched well to even his record at 3-3.  Correa went 3-3 with a home run, and we got to see Marwin Gonzalez's first non-solo home run.

I was back at the stadium the next day.  I had planned for a while to bring my dad as his birthday present, plus I wanted to get the Dallas Keuchel bobblehead.  Keuchel actually pitched decently, though he gave up solo home runs in the first two innings to Robinson Cano and Kyle Seager (both lefties).  The Astros tied it when Valbuena (finally) hit his first home run of the year in the bottom of the ninth to send it to extra innings.  Cano ended it with his second home run of the game in the tenth.  It was another in a long line of losses the Astros should have won.

Pictured: losing pitcher

The next week was full of packing for the move.  I also got rid of a bunch of stuff, including all of my notes from graduate school and my dissertation.  It was surprising how easy that was.  I able to have dinner with some good friends Monday night.  Then on Friday I went down to Clear Lake to hang out with my friend again and go back to Space Center Houston one last time.  Of course it's different now, especially with that giant (fake) space shuttle on the 747.  It was a cool tour, and it's always great to be reminded of how large/small the shuttle was.  (Large overall, tiny in the living space.)

The early part of the next week included a fair amount of packing again.  Then, my first big adventure.  On Thursday, I headed up to Bryan/College Station to see my brother and family.  After lunch with him, I headed over to Texas A&M for one last look around.  Unforunately it was raining fairly hard, so I pretty much cut it down to the Memorial Student Center, the Academic Building, and Kyle Field.  I even snuck into the 12th Man Foundation part of the Zone of Kyle Field.  I walked around like I knew what was doing, and found a door open to a hallway that looked like it headed somewhere near the field but was too chicken to find out more.

That night, we were able to go to Blue Bell Park to see the #2 Aggies take on the #6 Rebels in the final homestand of the season.  It was my first trip to the recently renovated field, and we all had a good time.  The Ags scored in the bottom of the first and the Rebels tied it in the second, then it was solid pitching and a horrible strike zone by the ump.  But the Aggies prevailed, scoring 5 runs in the 6th inning.  There just might be some young Aggies here yet.

Friday I had a good day beginning with taking my niece and nephew to get donuts before school.  After a little down time with my brother, I drove up to Dallas where I was staying the night at Holy Trinity Seminary.  The power was out when I got there, but that allowed me to spend some time talking with a couple of seminarians from Galveston-Houston, reading, and a little nap.  I grabbed a quick dinner at Smashburger (my first time, it was ok), then back to the seminary to watch the Astros lose to the Rangers in their spacious TV lounge.  Saturday was the big day: going to the Fort Worth Priestly Ordination.  St. Patrick's Cathedral is quite beautiful.  While vesting in the sacristy, I was amazed to look up and see a stained glass window of my favorite saint Maximilian Kolbe.  What a treat!  The ordination was a moving experience (actually my first priest ordination).  I knew I was going to have to drive down to Houston after it, so I was hoping to see my friend and get his first blessing quickly at the reception.  I was worried by the number of people, but I realized they were all waiting in line for food, so I went right up to his table.  I was greatly blessed when he stopped everything to bless me first!  Again, it was a great experience.

I came back on Saturday so that I could go to the Astros game on Sunday with my sister and nephew, probably our last chance to do so together in Houston.  The final score was terrible (9-2 and another sweep), but we had a good time together, even if he got all jacked up on cotton candy.

Now I'm starting off another very busy week, with a trip to Brownsville in store before I move up to Madison for good.  I'll have to give an update as everything progresses.