What is seminary
like? It’s been said there are two
things you don’t want to know how they are made: sausages and priests. It’s not quite that bad. The first thing to say for sure is that each
seminary is different. Yes, there are
some things that are universal, like classes, daily Mass, Morning and Evening
prayer, but the particulars are unique.
Something as simple as daily or weekly schedule can vary widely. For instance, in Houston, we had class Monday
through Thursday with Friday as a formation day. In Milwaukee, our formation day is
Wednesday. (Formation day basically
means instead of regular classes, we have classes based on things like prayer
or Mass practice.) In Houston, we had
Mass at 11:30. In Milwaukee, we have
Mass after Morning Prayer (around 7:15).
Of course there are other differences, but those are just a few
examples.
By the way, in
seminary we talk of four "pillars of formation." These are: spiritual, human, intellectual,
and pastoral. There are debates over
which is most important, but really a balance is needed.
My two years at
St. Mary’s in Houston were a great formation experience. The people were great, to begin with. At St. Mary’s, rooms were, more or less,
dependent on class. So, First
Theologians all lived on the same floor, for example. Our Pre-Theology class was the first
significant class in a long time, so we were kind of guinea pigs. Unlike other
classes, we were spread out amongst all the others. This ended up being a fantastic grace for me,
because I lived with the Third Theologians.
They immediately accepted me and made me feel welcome. I still remember the first Saturday I was there
I was about to go out and get some dinner.
One of those men invited himself along.
While at first I was put off, after all, I am very independent, it ended
up being the best thing. It immediately
pulled me out of myself. By the way,
everyone of course goes through adaptation issues when they enter
seminary. For me, the most difficult
thing was living in community. I had
lived by myself, more or less, for 10 years.
It had only increased my natural self-dependency. Now, all of a sudden, I lived on a floor with
about 15 other men, sharing a bathroom with a handful of toilets and three
showers. Forget independence, now your
life is controlled by another. I became
so close to that class that when they were ordained the following year I joked
that my class was leaving me.
The seminary is really beautiful
Our philosophy
classes were not at the seminary but rather at the nearby University of St.
Thomas (as might be expected, they were extremely Thomistic, not a bad thing
for a future priest). This meant that
the Pre-Theologians carpooled four days a week.
Whether we wanted to or not, this forced us to become close. Thankfully, I was part of a great group of
guys. Each one pushed me to grow in some
way.
What kind of
philosophy classes? That was the
question that they were still working out (as I said, guinea pigs). There were kind of two groups of classes. On the one hand, there were the historical
philosophy classes (Ancient, Medieval, Modern Philosophy). Then there were the thematic philosophy
classes (Metaphysics, Philosophy of God, Philosophy of Man, Epistemology,
etc.). Most people expected that they
would be easy for me. Alas, philosophy
is a very different field of study from history. For the most part I figured things out, but
it was not easy. At the same time we had
a few classes in theology and liturgy, as well as Spanish.
I have often
said this, and it is very true: the most important book I read in Pre-Theology
was Joseph Ratzinger’s The Spirit of the
Liturgy. This book gave me a
completely different look on the Liturgy.
On top of that, I became involved in the Schola. Our Schola leader/Liturgist was one of the
most important people in my formation.
Between Ratzinger and Schola, I began to understand that the “normal
Catholic” idea of Liturgy was way off what it should be. I had only gone to the Latin Mass once before
joining seminary, and I did not like it because I did not understand what was
going on. Even in seminary, the first
time I went I was turned off. But then I
started learning about the theology behind it, and realized how rich it
was. This was a hugely important part of
my Pre-Theology formation. I wanted to
make sure that, if I were to be ordained, I would do Liturgy the right way, not
necessarily the way people have become used to.
Schola, by the way, was hard work.
We met at least twice a month for two hours. It was well worth the work, since we sang at
least two Sundays a month and some other major Liturgies. Again, hard work, but fulfilling. Beyond the work, I was able to be around some
of the best people I have ever known.
Read this book
Overall, my
years at St. Mary’s were good years.
That being said, I gradually realized that I was not meant to be in
Houston. I have written already on this
blog a longer account of my discernment process. Essentially, by the end of my first year, I
was on the fence. That summer, I went to
a summer long formation program in Omaha called Institute for Priestly
Formation. Long story short, a lot of
guys love IPF. I liked parts of it. At the beginning there is an eight-day silent
retreat where you meet with a spiritual director every day. This was great. The rest of the summer is basically classes
on various aspects of priestly spirituality.
It is heavily based on Ignatian Spirituality. A bit too heavy, in my opinion. By the July 4th holiday, at least,
I was ready to go. The best parts of the
summer, outside of the retreat, was getting to know seminarians from all over
the country and being able to visit a few Midwestern spots. That Independence Day, I stayed a few days in
St. Louis at their beautiful seminary and was able to attend a few Cardinals
games and Cahokia National Park. I took
a day trip to see the Field of Dreams in Dyersville, Iowa, as well as the
surprise find of their amazing basilica.
I was also able to go to an Astros game in Kansas City, one of my
favorite ballparks. Oh yes, then of
course Omaha is the home of the College World Series (unfortunately the Aggies
just missed it). So it wasn’t a lost
summer. There was lots of baseball.
St. Louis Cathedral: perhaps most beautiful church in US
Dyersville Basilica
There was
another importance of this summer. I was
reminded of how much I liked the Midwest.
This was very influential on my discernment for a new diocese. Having family from Wisconsin, I looked into
the dioceses there. Through my own
research, as well as the encouragement of some of my friends, I began to focus
on Madison. I was able to visit that
Christmas, and immediately felt comfortable.
That Spring, I sat on my big secret.
The funny thing was, a rumor began to spread in the seminary that I was
to be sent to Rome for Theological studies.
I let it go, to throw people off the scent. I figured a false rumor would keep people
from finding about my plans to leave before I was ready to make it public.
I have to say
that this decision, which could have become a major issue, was handled very
well. The diocese assured me of their
support and did not “out” me before I was ready. The same for the seminary. Thankfully, those involved in the discernment
process know it is just that: a process.
Men need time to think and pray about it. It should be up to the individual to make
their discernment public when he is ready.
Any kind of discernment decision should never be made public by someone
else.
I was officially
accepted to the Diocese of Madison on Holy Saturday. I was able to finish out the school year
before the transfer was official. It was
a bit awkward for some people, especially those who thought they should have
known earlier (even if it was none of their business). And, as with any big decision, some people
took it personally. But, on the whole,
the transition went well. After
finishing in early May, I was able to stay around and attend a few ordinations
for my “classmates.” The first week of
June, I officially moved to Madison and spent the summer at St. Bernard’s
Parish in Madison, my new home parish.
It was a great experience, completely welcoming.
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